That phrase has just been apart of my life.. Everyone who knows me, knows that I am very strong, but there are times when I just want to stay in bed all day and sob. As you know, we live with my In Laws, who are the best, I don't think that there are enough kind words to describe them. Today, Papa, Patrick and I went to the grocery store and then to Costco, it was nice to get out. Keeps me from missing Kevin to much. Kevin got his CDL, and went on the road for three days, and I already miss him something fierce. I hide it when he calls, because it just makes his job that much more stressful and tiresome. But today, the washing machine broke, and well, it was the straw that broke my back. I just started crying after my FIL checked it out to see if it was fixable. After I got Patrick down for a nap, and my FIL left to go call Nana, to see what she thought. I just started crying. Draining the water out of the machine, wringing out clothes, and just sobbing.
I know that we will get through this, but it just seems to keep piling up. A few months ago, the dryer broke. I have been a home owner and I know these things happen, just seems sucky that it has all been happening while we have been here. And it just hurts, cause I feel bad for them. They took us in when Kevin lost his job, and help out so much, I think when it comes time to move out, Patrick is going to miss them so much.
I am glad that he is at this age when Kevin had to do training over the road, because he misses him, but not like a 6 year old would. Kids at age 2 don't really have the concept of time, at least that is what I have read. And for the most part seems true, Patrick is a tough little guy, he's very smart and we just love him to pieces.
I sent Kevin a picture of Patrick yesterday from my Mom's and Kevin said it hurt so bad, and I knew it would, and I regretted sending it, but I knew he needed to see his funny sweet face.
I keep praying that this year goes by quickly. And that Kevin can find local work near home. Even if he was gone daily or every other day, nightly etc, that would be ok too, but going out for 30 days at a time, and then coming home for a few days, just seems like torture. But it is better than being away in a war zone for a year or more. I hope that I can become that strong, like the families that have to do that.
I have a few tests coming up to take for possible jobs, and I hope that I become employed soon, I think that would help Patrick and I so much. It would make me concentrate on him and working, and not how much I miss Kevin. Plus, Patrick would get to go to day care, I know it will be an adjustment for him and I both, but its good to have little friends.
Typing this out has helped, but hasnt eased the tears, and today, it started to rain, I am not ready to become a mall walker. Patrick and I enjoy our outdoor walking time. Its a good chance for him to eat a nice hearty snack before going to take a nap.
Got my first text message from Kevin, he's in Phoenix, outside the Hooters.. good place for him LOL I hope to talk to him later today but probably tonight. The tears have stopped if you are wondering LOL, just missing him. And now, back to my cleaning.. Peace
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Strong Family!!
We moved in with Kevin's parents in April, so that I could finish school, and Kevin could either go to school, or find work. But as we know, the economy is in the tank.. Employers can afford to be choosey..and they have. We are blessed with wonderful parents, and a son that is just amazing. Kevin finished school a couple of weeks ago. He got his CDL with all endorsements, but most companies wont hire you unless you have experience, and the best way to get that experience, is to go over the road. Long Haul driving.. It is going to be hard on everyone to be without him. Especially our little guy who is a little over 2 years old. It will be an adjustment for all of us, and I know there will be tears shed. Last night we were getting ready for bed, and Kevin has a fan, and he turned it on, and as per usual, I said, nono, not the fan.. he said, just think, In a few days, you won't have to worry about begging me to turn it off. And I burst into tears... I said, I want the fan on, that means you are home.
We talked, and cuddled, and then pushed through it. We will be ok, and its only for a year. He will be able to come home, about once a month... for 34 hours. I am hoping to find work, as I passed my Certification test, and I am now a Nationally Certified Medical Assistant... very excited about that. And I know that once I find work, and put our little buddy into day care, we will all have jobs and that will help pass the time. But on the same hand, I will miss very much being at home with our little guy. But he is ready for school, he is very curious about little kids.
One year ago at this time, when Kevin lost his job, we weren't sure what we were going to do. But with the help of our families, we have managed to break thru a moment of depression, and on the up swing.. we have survived this moment in our lives as a family ... Strong!
We talked, and cuddled, and then pushed through it. We will be ok, and its only for a year. He will be able to come home, about once a month... for 34 hours. I am hoping to find work, as I passed my Certification test, and I am now a Nationally Certified Medical Assistant... very excited about that. And I know that once I find work, and put our little buddy into day care, we will all have jobs and that will help pass the time. But on the same hand, I will miss very much being at home with our little guy. But he is ready for school, he is very curious about little kids.
One year ago at this time, when Kevin lost his job, we weren't sure what we were going to do. But with the help of our families, we have managed to break thru a moment of depression, and on the up swing.. we have survived this moment in our lives as a family ... Strong!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Night Terrors in Toddler
Last night I actually went to bed before 11pm, and thank goodness for that. My bf and I were awoken by our son at 2am, and he was having a night terror. if you have children and have experienced this, you know the anxiety that I speak of. If not, it is when your child is half asleep and half dreaming. I went into his room, and thought if I covered him up, he would just move past it, but he stood up crying and i picked him up out of his bed. I was walking him to our room and he flaled back. I am so glad that I was expecting this, because I was able to keep us from both falling over.
I layed him on our bed, and he looked right at me, like he didnt know me, almost right through me. And flipped out, so I threw all of our bedding on the floor, pillows, everything, and laid him on top, so as he lifted his legs and slammed them down on the ground, he wouldnt hurt his little feet. This lasted about 20 minutes, and he has done this a few times, and it's usually because he's not feeling good, and this is the first sign, so just going with what I normally do, luckily, his favorite cartoon is on ondemand, so at 230, we watched Caillou.... bless Caillou, he started to "wake up", meaning it took him a while, he stood up, I asked him if he wanted to sit on the bed with us and cuddle, and he just looked at me, as if to say, what did you say? and so I repeated and he said yes, and then I asked if he wanted a drink.. yes.
Phew, so we moved passed that hurdle, and guess what, after he had his drink and cartoon and was calm, I tried putting him back into bed, and he flipped out, normally he cries for a few minutes and then passes out, well he screamed, and cried, so I went and got him after an hour, and we did it all over, see, before I usually had given him a small bowl of plain cheerios, so this time, that is what he got, ate about 30 of them, and after another cartoon, and its now 4am, I put him back to bed, and he fusses, cries, and throws a fit, and after about an hour, he see's the day light coming, its nearly 5am, and he falls asleep.
I had to be to work late today, thankfully, so after eating his real breakfast at 8am, we had an early lunch at 10:30am, and I put him to bed, he was so tired. He slept for 3 hours, I went to work, and heard that Daddy had an ok day with him. When I arrived home, at 630pm (work for a Naturopath) he had just gotten out of the bath, smelled so good, got him some medicine from the doctor, and he and I played outside for a few minutes, I dressed him for bed, and at 715p I put him in bed, read him two books, he fussed for about 10 seconds, and I havent heard from him since. All I have to say is that kids are the funniest little creatures.. they are so predictably unpredictable. LOL
In a couple of hours, I will be headed for bed, I am so tired, but still going, why you ask, because I have more work to do, and just want to vent this out. If you have a child that has gone thru this, let me hear from you.
I layed him on our bed, and he looked right at me, like he didnt know me, almost right through me. And flipped out, so I threw all of our bedding on the floor, pillows, everything, and laid him on top, so as he lifted his legs and slammed them down on the ground, he wouldnt hurt his little feet. This lasted about 20 minutes, and he has done this a few times, and it's usually because he's not feeling good, and this is the first sign, so just going with what I normally do, luckily, his favorite cartoon is on ondemand, so at 230, we watched Caillou.... bless Caillou, he started to "wake up", meaning it took him a while, he stood up, I asked him if he wanted to sit on the bed with us and cuddle, and he just looked at me, as if to say, what did you say? and so I repeated and he said yes, and then I asked if he wanted a drink.. yes.
Phew, so we moved passed that hurdle, and guess what, after he had his drink and cartoon and was calm, I tried putting him back into bed, and he flipped out, normally he cries for a few minutes and then passes out, well he screamed, and cried, so I went and got him after an hour, and we did it all over, see, before I usually had given him a small bowl of plain cheerios, so this time, that is what he got, ate about 30 of them, and after another cartoon, and its now 4am, I put him back to bed, and he fusses, cries, and throws a fit, and after about an hour, he see's the day light coming, its nearly 5am, and he falls asleep.
I had to be to work late today, thankfully, so after eating his real breakfast at 8am, we had an early lunch at 10:30am, and I put him to bed, he was so tired. He slept for 3 hours, I went to work, and heard that Daddy had an ok day with him. When I arrived home, at 630pm (work for a Naturopath) he had just gotten out of the bath, smelled so good, got him some medicine from the doctor, and he and I played outside for a few minutes, I dressed him for bed, and at 715p I put him in bed, read him two books, he fussed for about 10 seconds, and I havent heard from him since. All I have to say is that kids are the funniest little creatures.. they are so predictably unpredictable. LOL
In a couple of hours, I will be headed for bed, I am so tired, but still going, why you ask, because I have more work to do, and just want to vent this out. If you have a child that has gone thru this, let me hear from you.
Monday, August 2, 2010
GEOCACHING-- have you tried it?
If you like adventure, time with your family and a bit of exercise, this is something for you. I started my first profile in 2005 and have had quite the adventure, but now that we have a small family, I started a new profile, clean slate so to speak, as my boyfriend has never done this, so when we go out, I hope to add his words as the "newbie". You can find Caches all over the world, so if you are going on vacation, check to see if there is one where you are going. Most require a GPS, most cell phones have this function. Some cache's just want you to post your journey online, and how you got there, some just want a picture, or better yet, little treasures, fun small things. I hope to continue this blog post, with our adventures. Just in our zip code alone, there are over 500... this isn't something new, this has been around for ten years, and millions of people follow... why don't you?
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