Friday Night Cooking Lesson

In My 20's and early 30's I was working at UPS and on Friday's I'd get off work around 9am in Portland and head north towards Olympia, WA. where my Grandparents lived.  I usually arrived just in time to help with groceries. 

Friday nights were family dinner with just them and I.  It was a great time... tonight, Cinco de Mayo 2017 I am in the kitchen with my family making home made tacos... only thing we arent making homemade is the shells... another time maybe.  I learned how to pan fry corn tortillas from my Grandfather Dannie and they were sooooo good...

We would make up a taco bar and dive right in.  It was such a magical night of fun just the three of us.  Tonight, there are three of us, my small family.  We were talking about dinner, and I suggested Taco Night and went on to further explain the tradition of the taco feast with my Grandparents.

The scent of onion, garlic, lime, cilantro, fresh made guacamole, chicken simmering... I feel that Dannie is with us... waiting patiently and also nudging me as to why there isnt any fresh made tortillas, next time... promise

Wanted: Cancer - - For Murder

Notes of sarcasm will be used, if you cant figure out what they are, don't bother reading on... i am still adjusting to the news that my Dear Uncle Joe is no longer here, BUT.. his stubborn ass hung on long enough, and like he said, it would be us poor suckers left behind to mourn him... Ain't that the truth.. The call came to me November 16th, 2012 at 9:46pm, from his first wife... and as soon as I saw her name on the phone, I knew that he was gone.. and got that tight feeling in my chest and throat as I answered the phone...

Just 9 months ago, I got a call from his her wife, telling me that Joe had cancer, and i was just dumbfounded.. i cried a bit, and then she helped me get into touch with him.. we are estranged because in 2007 his Dad died of the same type of Cancer.. When he died, Joe was in pain and said things to the family and just walked away.. I really tried to stay in touch..

Our first call.. and all calls after, were at work, on lunch, on break, a quick little hello, how are you feeling type calls.. texts, and wow, a lot of conversations, a lot of fixing old hurts.  He will always be missed, the way we use to torment each other.  The day we were in the kitchen, and I smarted off to him, and he turned me over his knee and spanked my ass.. damn that big hand hurt.. left a nice print... me being 30 and him being nearly 40.... what a pain he was, but we just loved him.  Fun Loving, Generous and a Royal pain in my ass.. we cracked jokes that the rest in the family just didn't get, but we were having fun, once he chased me down the long hallway at my Grandparents after I stuck my tongue out at him... hahahaha, didn't catch me sucker, did ya.. Not til later.. I was walking by him, and he grabbed my wrist, and man he was strong, them big meat hooks as I called them, had me good.   What was I to do, but turn on the charm, and the brown eyes, and he was putty... hahahaha... again, i win!

Why did i win, cause i was so feisty to him, and bossy... but, we had complete love for each other. We walked memory lanes path for months, talking about how he taught me to use a nail gun the right way, and not put a nail thru his hand like he did.... OUCHY, still makes me cringe thinking about it and picturing his hand with an entrance and an exit wound.. "Dont let it slip kid, or you are FUCKED" is what he said to me.. with that twinkle in his eye.. so great, im holding a giant nail gun in my hand and he's holding down the wall joint for the cabinent... and im thinking to myself.. Don't screw up, cause if you do, its probably gonna be his hand.. after the first two fires, I was ok... and for years, used the nail gun like no big deal..

So many memories, and as I think of them, I have been writing them down.. my son never got to meet him, he is 4, but he will be told all about Dear Uncle Joe...

As I got older, more on my own, I flew down to Cali, and stayed with him and the family for two weeks, and what a blast... took me up to the snow at Big Bear, had a great dinner at a cafe up there.. and then the next day, he took off work and we went to Disneyland.. what a blast we had... his wife was pregnant, so it wasn't much fun for her, but we had a good time...

With the holidays approaching, it will be a bit difficult to imagine that Christmas morning, I wont get that call.. even in my 20's and 30's, loved waiting for our call from Joe.. I was always reminded not to get the phone but to let his Dad answer, but his Dad always handed the phone to me to answer.. all of us at my Grandparents and then he and his family in Cali... he never got to come up here for the holidays.. and that is a whole other story about someones selfishness... and it isnt his.. anyhow I almost strayed from my theme of sarcasm to snarky.... keep the focus girl LOL

His Cancer started in his Colon, they removed half of his large intestine, the giant tumor, and three feet of his small intestine.. and things really started to look up.  But then the cancer spread to his Liver and more chemo, he was fighting a good fight.. then, he confided in me during one of our calls, his 2nd wife, who I have never met, she sounds like an angel... so glad they married, but, she didnt even know then, but they found cancer in his blood, and then, he learned into his lungs.. My last call to him was in October, we just talked, I cried a little, not because I knew he was dying, but because I wouldn't probably ever get to see his stubborn ass again.  He said to me.. "Kid, if you were able, you'ld come down down and take care of me, Just like you did with my Dad?"  I said, Yes i would..

When his Dad entered his final days, My Mom and I were in the Caribbean.. and as soon as we landed in Houston, i turned on my phone, and immediately my Grandma called asking for me to come to the house.. she said my Cousin would be there to pick me up, and he did, drove me up to their home, and Grandfather was there in his bed, and he totally knew who we were, said hello, and asked me to help him.  But, I knew it was soon... my cousin had to go to work and couldn't stay, so he left, my Aunt left, Hospice nurse left, and Grannie went to bed after I made a run to the pharmacy.... to get a patch to help with drying out, as he was starting to foam... I'll never remember the last thing the Hospice Nurse said to me... as she handed me a bottle of Morphine, she said, "IF he gets to MUCH, he WILL DIE.!" It was like she was giving me permission to overdose him, and I could not do that, would not do that! and then have to live with that... So, it grew quiet in the house, I had the the off, the heat on, and called Joe, we talked for a bit and then he had to go.. So, I talked to Grandfather who by this time, was spiraling down.... I took a break from suctioning him with a turkey baster because he was foaming so much... trying to breathe... but I had to call my work, and I got approved for two weeks of FMLA.  Which was later denied, because he was my Step Grandfather.. Fuckers.. anyhow.. the phone rang, and it was Joe, we talked, he couldn't be with us, because he was going thru a very messy divorce and had to stay in California.  He told me that i was so strong, to be there and so loved, to also again, be doing this.  I said, I love him like he was blood... and that is what we do for family and friends we love.  The end jobs aren't always the prettiest..

He had me put the phone up to his Dad's ear, and let him talk for a bit, and checked a couple times to see if he was done, and there were responses from Grandfather, a little smirk, a little smile... I am not sure in those few moments what Joe was saying to him, nor was it my business, that was Father/Son time.. and when he finished, Joe and I talked for about 45 more minutes, and he asked me what all i was doing for him.. And I told him I was suctioning him, pulling the fluid from his mouth, and then, I noticed his hands.. his powerful huge hands.. they had turned frail, in just a matter of days, and then I saw it... his nails were turning black... and then silence.... I choked back my tears, and interrupted Joe telling me a story about his Dad.. I had to get his attention.. "Joe, your Dad has just passed away."  His reply, NO FUCKING WAY!  YOU CHECK... I said, I did, I checked for his pulse, and there wasn't one.. I saw his heart pump one last time.. I ached, I had just experienced the most humbling thing ever.. someones last breath, someones last second on earth... I didn't cry, was just awe struck... Joe says to me, check his pulse, I said i just did, there is nothing there, YOU COUNT AGAIN he screams at me.. I said, I can count to fucking Zero, what more do you want.. and well, we both laughed a bit.. Humor was apart of the three of us.. even Dannie, my Grandfather would have seen the humor in that..

I got off the phone with Joe, covered Dannie up, and went to wake my Grandma, who also checked him, and nothing. I called our dear neighbor Russ, who is the fire chief in the town they lived in.. but the phone was busy... he said if it happened, to call and he would bring his friend who was the funeral director in the little town.  But again, calling, calling, busy signal, so, its nearly midnight, and I drive down to his house and bang on the back door.. he answers it in his underwear.. (insert giggle) and says, why didnt you call, I said the phone is busy... he yells at his daughter and kisses my forehead and tells me he will follow just gotta get my clothes on.

My Grandfather had a DNR and no life sustaining heroics signed, but the EMT's that showed up who were called by the neighbor to have him declared passed.. wanted to try and save him.  I sat on his bed, and told them if you touch him, we are going to have problems.  Because I knew after a half hour, they wouldn't be able to anyhow.  So, the Chief just sent them back.  I helped Grandma get ready, called Joe back, and they took Grandfather away.. I was so removed from the emotional part, because I was the caretaker, I have still yet to cry over his passing.

But the second the phone rang to tell me Joe had passed away... I sobbed uncontrollably, and have been off and on, thoughts come into my head, and I laugh, then I cry, because he was such an important person.  But as with all things, they must come to an end, even a life.  He lived a well life.. even at age 47 and living with full systemic Cancer.. he did his very best with what cards he was dealt... wish I could say that he turned around with a Royal Flush, but, sadly, no, Ace's and 8's and my heart just breaks...

My Veteran's Day Tribute

 We all know someone who is a Veteran, whether they are a proud one, or a humble one.  My Grandpa, Grandfather Dannie, Great Uncles, and my dear cousin Adam, they are humble Veterans.  It was something they did, to help others, to keep our own country safe, or to protect freedoms that most take for granted. Thousands of miles from home, not sure what the job is at hand, whether they fought in trenches, fought out in the middle of an ocean, the jungle, or desert... They had a job to do, and they did it.  Whether they agreed or not.. Sometimes, they would disagree quietly, or within their unit.. Rarely did it ever make it home.. Letters home were always positive, and how much one misses another and to hear stories about home, and school... not of the firing of guns or rockets off in the distance....

My Grandpa served during WWII in Italy and France, he never talked about it, never spoke of the bonds he made, the things he saw, or did... .  Grandma told me several times, to not ask about it... and to this day I still don't truly know but, I do this with my own cousin, I tell family who may not know, not to ask him about it.  Maybe to protect him from reliving painful memories.  One thing Grandpa did bring back, was a little French nursery rhyme... and I still remember the words, and I wondered, did he learn that song over there, because he saw children that needed comforting?  And was it something he used to help gain their trust?  I know that he was an MP.  In the picture below, his hat is offset, this is how I remember him, but instead of a military hat, it was a cowboy hat... even as I type this, the tears come... yes, i miss him, somewhat more now than I did when i was younger.  The things that have happened to our country, he would be so pissed and ashamed of how young people see things, looking for a handout... get off your ass if you want something would be his advice.  I have another picture of him, he's 16 years old, serving with the C.C.C. he lied about his age, and went to work to help his family in South Dakota, building one of the roads in the Badlands.  At this time, it was in the late 30's, into the early 40's and then, just shy of his 19th birthday, the Military Drafted him.  And then, so many thousands were drafted along with him.  Many would not return, and they are honored on Memorial Day..

They are our heroes, some still living, and some not, but regardless, they do deserve heartfelt thanks.  And to think one in 4 homeless people are Veterans.  That is so terribly sad, I understand that for some it is a choice they made years ago.... but we as the People, have we some how failed them?


I do my very best to visit the cemeteries on Veteran's Day and Memorial Day... visit with my Grandpa and just take in the things he had taught me, shared with me in my short time with him.  I think about him every day... not mournful, but missing, and in hopes that the great wisdom he gave to me, still holds a bit of magic... For In times of strife, I look to his simple words, and reflect on them.

My cousin Adam served in a war that to this day still doesnt make sense to most.. and probably never will.  He joined when he was just 16, and each summer he would do his Basic and Advanced Trainings and all his weekend warrior stuff.  Then 9/11 happened, and he was nearing his enlistment date, but was delivered a letter saying his unit would be put at a stop-loss, a new term to me,.... so hard to imagine, to be done with your duty and to be told you have to wait, because they might need you later.  He left for the Middle East, and when he came home, I will never forget the day we went to the demobilization ceremony a chilly day in 2004, but bright sunshine... the Governor of Oregon was there, and that was precious, so many units coming back and he was with this one.  I remember walking into the ceremony, I was excited, I hadnt seen my cousin in almost 4 years, and as close as we were before he left, i was really looking forward to seeing him.  And out of the corner of my eye, I see a solider making his way down the aisle of crowded seats, and I turned, and there he was.  Huge Hug, and there were some tears, I was just so happy to have him home.  Grandma faithfully reminded us, that we had never lost anyone in any war, since she began doing genealogy and had records from the Revolutionary war... we are a lucky family.. but some times journeys take them places, dark places, and i wont write where his journey took him, but it is 2012, and though these memories are several years old, he is now safe, home, and happy... The things he learned in his time of service, helped save his life, and the lives of his buddies...

Thank you all for your service and devotion to our country... politics aside, we are a grateful nation!!! 

Babysitting Grandma?? I dont think so LOL

My Grandma lives with my Aunt and Uncle its a great set up for the three of them. But they needed a break and I volunteered. I thought that it would be harder, since I have a son who is allergic to all the animals that they have here.  One dog, who thankfully got sent to Doggy daycamp, and three cats, who I wish could have joined them, but we are at the tail end of the journey here, and so far its been, ok..... here is what has happened to make it just ok.

My son, has a slight cold, he's 3, and that means coughing, hacking, sneezing, and lots of snot.. what happens when  a child gets built up with snot... they start coughing and then vomiting because they are coughing so much.  Luckily, I am a pro at cleaning up vomit, as I have my own troubles, so I threw my son over the sink, and he did his business down the garbage disposal.

We arrived on Friday, and I set up his portable crib and he asked if this was where we were going to sleep and I said yes, so he went to bed, but I had to give him his inhaler and he hates being held down, because he wont willingly let you put the mask over his face.  He doesnt need it often, and I think that is part of the problem, but thats ok, I'd rather have this be a once in a while thing, other than a daily ritual like so many other kids have to do.

The night went off without a hitch, Grannie went to bed around 8, and Patrick went to bed around 9, and fell asleep around 10.  I stayed up til Midnight listening for him, fell asleep on my Aunt and Uncles bed, and woke up to Patrick coughing and full of snot, so I gave him his inhaler, and boy that sure helped, cleaned him up, and put him in bed with me.  I wish he wasnt allergic to animals, but that is what way it is.

We got up this morning, had breakfast, and made sure Grannie was ok for the day, so I could take home to give him a nap and a break from the cats.. He slept for almost 4 hours... in his own bed, and happy.

After a small bite of lunch, we headed back to Grannies, which is about an hour away from our house, and picked her up to go to a small birthday party for our cousin Rick, who turned 60.  It was nice to see the family but I was on Patrick patrol, I try an encourage him to wander away from me in controlled situations, but he just wasnt buying most of it today.

But after getting use to seeing everyone, he let me eat, and then he wanted to play.  After about an hour, we needed to go, because they also had animals there, so it was time to go, and Grannie was getting tired.

She has been plagued with Arthritis since almost birth, so she is in pretty much constant pain, which has to be frustrating, because the mind is sharp as a tack, but the body says, Im tired, so she read my cues and we got ready to leave.  I so have to send a big thank you to my cousins for helping us out to the car with her and her wheelchair. Its amazing how those memories bring thoughts of my Great Grandma, her Mother.. same thing, but you know, its great to have family who are so willing to help.  And just be there.  Will totally need to get a card to Cousin Dave for his birthday.

Tonight, as I mentioned above, Patrick got sick, and when he gets sick, its all or nothing.  I thought we were good, thats why I gave him his dinner, but nope.. about a half hour later he started coughing.  I didnt think that I had given him a lot, because I know from past experience not to give him a typical meal size.  So his dinner consisted of three peach slices, a half cup water, and about 10 green beans all cut up.

And then, it started.. luckily I saw his eyes well up and I grabbed him, and put him over the sink.. thank goodness for bleach and garbage disposals.

I got the little guy into bed around 8ish, and he's now asleep.. I am so grateful for this time with my Grannie, I got to show her all the genealogy that I have found and have been working on.  And just catch up on people.  Grannie is a great source to hear all the family what nots that are going on.

As tonight draws to a close, I only have about 12 more hours here, and then I do believe we are going to the beach tomorrow, its suppose to be about 90 degrees.  I am very excited for that.

We're Moving and other news

If you have followed my blog then you know of the trying times we have had.  But we are moving into a house, and out of my in law's basement.  We are hoping to save enough money so that we can buy our own home next year.


We considered moving back to an apartment, but that wouldn't be really fair to our son, who has had his own yard and patio to play in for over a year.  So we are taking this house, and going to be cheap for a year and save so we can own our own home.  Renting a house doesn't thrill me, but it will, its the anxiety of packing, moving, paying someone else's mortgage.  I want my own mortgage, we will get there, just need to be patient, and move out first.

Patrick started his early intervention school last week for his language delay.  He's no longer delayed by any means, just working with a speech therapist in a group setting for pronunciation and phonics.  He took about a half hour to adjust being there, and then I asked him for a kiss goodbye and I left him by himself.  I was quite surprised at how this turned out. I didnt cry, and neither did PJ.  He's becoming such a little man, and I love it.  But when I returned to pick him up, he was very happy to see me and said good-bye to his teacher.  It was very wonderful to see new experiences happening for him.  I like to introduce him to knew ideas and places, because when I was little I wanted to do so much, but was very much filled with anxiety.  So by he and I doing new things together it is pleasureable for both of us.

And when Kevin is home, the three of us do things together, and it is my great hope that the weather is nice when we go to the Beach with Uncle Dave and Aunt Michelle.  Patrick loves the ocean, and after that little trip, then PJ, my Mom, and I will be going to the beach for a few days, like we did when I was a little girl.

Patrick and I will be taking a huge adventure together soon, I'm taking him to the Portland Air Show, I'm hoping that this will be something he will really enjoy.  Especially when the fireworks go off.. LOL

Haven't Been here in a while..

Its almost PJ's birthday, can't believe he's almost 3 years old. After working with a Speech Therapist for 6 months, he has made some really serious improvement. I love that he wants to talk to me, and engage with me about certain topics thought his day... Cars, Trains, Colors, Shapes, the Alphabet. He's even learning some nursery rhymes... Rock a by baby is his newest. Sometimes he even sings it fast like a rock ballad..

Fourth of July was here, went to my Mom's and we walked down to the bridge and watched the fireworks, but PJ got bored so we left, and headed home. Upon heading home, I went into the city, and boy what a show, that he got to see from his carseat. We turned around and headed back the other way, and he saw the show continue, squealing with delight about FIREWORKS!!

Got him home, a 11pm, wayyy past his bedtime, he asked for his light on, so he could "read", and before I know it, he was asleep in his bed... so I turned off his light, and at 6am, he woke up, Uggh.. I was not ready for that.. LOL

But we managed, Kevin was gone, and wouldnt be home until today, but we are getting into a nice routine, Daddy is home a few days a week, and gone a few days a week, and it is just a nice little process that we work through.

I had another phone interview today, I am hopeful that I will get a call back for an in person interview, but I need to really punch through the 2nd interview and get hired.. I would love to work part time at this clinic, and also be home for my son, that is the American dream for me. Save our money and buy our first home...

I hope to be learning to can this summer, its been many years since my family has canned anything. But i ordered a few books, that will help with this process, i believe its more economical, and healthy for us to do this. Plus, with glass jars, you just wash and re-use. And i like that.. really tired of the processed foods out there... so many more people are going this route, and I think my generation is bringing back the homesteader ideals...

Gratitude...

Life has been hard for the three of us this past year and a half. I envisioned my life with a UPS Driver , a small child at home until he was 2 or so, then he would go off to day care/ preschool and I would get back to school part time until he got to kindergarten. But life usually has other plans, in 2009 Kevin lost his job, and we had to figure out what our next move was, of course we started applying to everywhere, but seeing as neither of us had enough to amount to a degree, we both went back to school. Me first, and I worked very hard to become a National Certified Medical Assistant, and guess what, I still don't have a job, and I am trying very hard, I am even expanding my career searches that could lead me to MA work... and then Kevin went to school, got his CDL, tried over the road, but not being able to shower, sleep or eat when his body felt like it, he came home. We were both at our wits ends and just recently started looking for work around Olympia, as that is where my Grandma has a home, until just recently....

I applied Kevin to a truck company about a month ago, and they liked what they saw on paper, and called him in for an interview..... two weeks after that, we finally heard back, and.... he wasnt chosen, even though he had the right stuff, they just went with someone who had more experience... I wrote the HR rep a letter, for Kevin, as I'm a better typist, and she called the next day....

we are happy to announce that he will be working for said company, and he goes tomorrow to get his DOT physical, and Drug test, but even better

We will be able to support ourselves again, and that is the biggest thing, no more having help financially, or seeing help other ways by working odd jobs, this is stable, and a great company...

The benefits are wonderful, and our little guy will be able to go back to his regular Doctor, and we can say good bye and thank you to Oregon Health Plan..

So many things have changed that there is now hope, hope for something better.. and not worrying about every little penny... when you get to that point, its hard to ask for a little more, because you need something or want something... We are so thankful that we have family we can rely on in hard times.. so that when someone else needs help, we will be there to help them...

So the word for the day in our house, is Gratitude...

Trying to Hang In There...

That phrase has just been apart of my life.. Everyone who knows me, knows that I am very strong, but there are times when I just want to stay in bed all day and sob. As you know, we live with my In Laws, who are the best, I don't think that there are enough kind words to describe them. Today, Papa, Patrick and I went to the grocery store and then to Costco, it was nice to get out. Keeps me from missing Kevin to much. Kevin got his CDL, and went on the road for three days, and I already miss him something fierce. I hide it when he calls, because it just makes his job that much more stressful and tiresome. But today, the washing machine broke, and well, it was the straw that broke my back. I just started crying after my FIL checked it out to see if it was fixable. After I got Patrick down for a nap, and my FIL left to go call Nana, to see what she thought. I just started crying. Draining the water out of the machine, wringing out clothes, and just sobbing.

I know that we will get through this, but it just seems to keep piling up. A few months ago, the dryer broke. I have been a home owner and I know these things happen, just seems sucky that it has all been happening while we have been here. And it just hurts, cause I feel bad for them. They took us in when Kevin lost his job, and help out so much, I think when it comes time to move out, Patrick is going to miss them so much.

I am glad that he is at this age when Kevin had to do training over the road, because he misses him, but not like a 6 year old would. Kids at age 2 don't really have the concept of time, at least that is what I have read. And for the most part seems true, Patrick is a tough little guy, he's very smart and we just love him to pieces.

I sent Kevin a picture of Patrick yesterday from my Mom's and Kevin said it hurt so bad, and I knew it would, and I regretted sending it, but I knew he needed to see his funny sweet face.

I keep praying that this year goes by quickly. And that Kevin can find local work near home. Even if he was gone daily or every other day, nightly etc, that would be ok too, but going out for 30 days at a time, and then coming home for a few days, just seems like torture. But it is better than being away in a war zone for a year or more. I hope that I can become that strong, like the families that have to do that.

I have a few tests coming up to take for possible jobs, and I hope that I become employed soon, I think that would help Patrick and I so much. It would make me concentrate on him and working, and not how much I miss Kevin. Plus, Patrick would get to go to day care, I know it will be an adjustment for him and I both, but its good to have little friends.

Typing this out has helped, but hasnt eased the tears, and today, it started to rain, I am not ready to become a mall walker. Patrick and I enjoy our outdoor walking time. Its a good chance for him to eat a nice hearty snack before going to take a nap.

Got my first text message from Kevin, he's in Phoenix, outside the Hooters.. good place for him LOL I hope to talk to him later today but probably tonight. The tears have stopped if you are wondering LOL, just missing him. And now, back to my cleaning.. Peace

Strong Family!!

We moved in with Kevin's parents in April, so that I could finish school, and Kevin could either go to school, or find work. But as we know, the economy is in the tank.. Employers can afford to be choosey..and they have. We are blessed with wonderful parents, and a son that is just amazing. Kevin finished school a couple of weeks ago. He got his CDL with all endorsements, but most companies wont hire you unless you have experience, and the best way to get that experience, is to go over the road. Long Haul driving.. It is going to be hard on everyone to be without him. Especially our little guy who is a little over 2 years old. It will be an adjustment for all of us, and I know there will be tears shed. Last night we were getting ready for bed, and Kevin has a fan, and he turned it on, and as per usual, I said, nono, not the fan.. he said, just think, In a few days, you won't have to worry about begging me to turn it off. And I burst into tears... I said, I want the fan on, that means you are home.

We talked, and cuddled, and then pushed through it. We will be ok, and its only for a year. He will be able to come home, about once a month... for 34 hours. I am hoping to find work, as I passed my Certification test, and I am now a Nationally Certified Medical Assistant... very excited about that. And I know that once I find work, and put our little buddy into day care, we will all have jobs and that will help pass the time. But on the same hand, I will miss very much being at home with our little guy. But he is ready for school, he is very curious about little kids.

One year ago at this time, when Kevin lost his job, we weren't sure what we were going to do. But with the help of our families, we have managed to break thru a moment of depression, and on the up swing.. we have survived this moment in our lives as a family ... Strong!

A Piece of Family History Returns..

We all have family members that for some reason or another do things that we dont agree with, or approve of. That is why we arent the ones with the arrest records or criminal pasts. One of my family members who I love dearly, I call him my brother, we were raised separately, but saw each other every other weekend. It was great growing up, I had someone to boss around, and someone who would do anything I told him to. As we grew up, my head strong ways didn't approve of his carefree or careless lifestyle. I figured it was just a little bump in his road that he had to take as did most boys his age. Granted, his curious lifestyle didn't stop him.

In 2003, He was camping with a friend in Yellowstone, this made National News, and they decided to move some barriers to get further into the park, meaning, he trespassed. After doing some donuts around a geyser and doing some major damage, he and his friend got stuck. They asked for help, but when the help didn't want to help because they would be contributing to a violation, they drove the two criminals to the Ranger Station at Yellowstone, upon being arrested. They went through their gear and found a loaded .22 Remington Rifle and confiscated it.

Upon being released, and going to fight in Iraq, and then coming back and being severely messed up, another crime was committed. It is now present day 2010, and last Thanksgiving, we as a family find out that the gun that was given to him by my Grandfather, who was given by his Grandfather, was taken into possession by park Rangers 7 years prior. I learned of this and made a few phone calls, after Googling his arrest record and getting the arresting officer's name and number. I found the gun, wow, 7 years it has sat in a safe at the Park Rangers Head Quarters, even the Rangers were surprised that it was still there. I phoned my Grandma right away and told her that it was still here.. we worked out an arrangement with the Rangers, that we would come down and get the gun. Certain paper work had to be done and filed in order to get this family heirloom that is almost 100 years old. So March 14, 2010, my boyfriend, son and I got in the car and drove to Montana, and then down to the park. We arrived in Montana, no snow on the roads and the most gorgeous sunny weather I had seen in months. We spent the night with family and then headed down to the park the next day. So excited, we were so close to getting my Grandpa's gun back. We arrived in the park and the Ranger we were to meet was at Old Faithful, so we waited and let our young son play in the snow. Shortly he arrived and we exchanged hand shakes, and pleasantries and lots of talking. They were so nice and almost sentimental as we were about our precious gun.

It was smaller than I had remembered, granted, the last time that I saw it was when I was 21. As soon as we got the paper work transferred and papers signed, it was ours, and I called Grannie, as soon as we were on the road. I didn't cry, even though I thought I would have knowing at how sentimental I am about things. The drive back to Helena, seemed shorter after picking up our precious cargo, even though it was still 300 miles. In all we traveled almost 2000 miles, in less than 4 days. It was a great trip to see the family and to get our family history back.

We took the gun to my Grannies house, and she has this sort of fancy house, and I told her it would make a great story, so she should mount it over her french doors. She was so happy to have it back, thinking that it had been destroyed or sold at an auction. It was truly meant to be in our family forever. She told me that after she has had it for a few years, it will become my gun, which I will then pass on to my son, but he wont be allowed to fire it, or use it, its for history.

Portland, Oregon to Helena, MT with a one year old

The drive is between 10-12 hours long, seems like it takes longer to get there than it does to get home.. maybe because we think there is plenty of time to get there if we leave around 8am, but nope, usually people are waiting up for us, and we have to hurry. Over the weekend we drove to Montana, where my boyfriend is from. But this trip, I was going to get to meet almost all of his cousins, I do believe he has 14 first cousins, and all of their spouses and children. Crazy Fun!!


I love sitting in the passenger seat taking photos and just looking at all the beautiful scenery. This photo is just about 25 miles outside of Helena, MT, its near McDonald Pass, the sun was setting, and I was able to get the camera out and take this photo.




Our son loves being in the car, the only time he gets fussy is because he's wet, or wants a drink.. when he was real small, if he cried, he was preparing to fall asleep. He is such a trooper.. when we would stop for either him or us, we would let him get out and walk.. He has only been walking about a month or so, so the legs are still like that of a new sailor.. now that he's older and taller, he can look out the window and see the scenery, sometimes he even laughs, not sure at what, but only he knows.. maybe when he's older, he can tell us. Coming home, he was even better, the ride was about two hours shorter, mainly because we didn't stop as much.. once we got him into the house, i let him play for a few minutes, but when i picked him up and told him it was snoozy time, I showed him his bed, and laid him down in it, i never heard a peep out of him until about 5am.... what a great trip

Genealogy..

This is one of my many hobbies that I love, but also the one that can drive me to stay up really late full well knowing that my son will be waking me up at 5am-6am, its amazing how sucked in I can get with documents from the 1800's or books that are available on Google that I'll read into the late night looking for any information that I come across regarding my family and the ties that bind. My Grannie, she gave me all of her work, and I have been adding to it, either photos that I find, and print out, and link them with files that I have or she has, and compile it all together, no I'm not going to write a huge book about my family, but it will be nice for future generations to see where my family has been, what they have gone thru. So many people know the basics of their families beginnings, but how maybe can trace back to the 1200's and found the direct line to the lineage? I get sucked in, and usually I wait til after my son goes to bed before I start dragging out files. I have learned that if you cant trace your roots back past 200 years, its because you probably weren't a royal, or a noblemen. Records weren't kept far back in certain areas of the world, so someday I hope to find a church with records past 1700 in Germany, you just never know, eventually everything will end up on the internet. The current project that I am working on is my maternal Grandfathers side, because that is the one that has all the roadblocks, and its a challenge, and I love a challenge...

The Morning Ritual..

So this morning Patrick, notices that I'm getting dressed and not staying in shorts, or pajamas, and he starts squealing, why you ask, because he knows he's going to be getting dressed soon as well, and that means car ride or stroller ride. He's very funny, starts tugging on my jeans, and I'm trying to put on my socks, and he's right there, my shadow, how wonderful it is to have this little blessing I call son. So we are all ready, we are headed to my Mom's, Patricks birthday is almost here, he'll be the big ONE, so its to Party City for all the 1st Birthday stuff we can find. It's not going to be a huge production, but there will be lots of food and lots of family and friends. The day goes off like a hitch, after the store, we head home, and like a sweet lamb, he goes down for a nap... not to busy of a day, but busy enough.